I have been struggling with being put down, insulted and underrated lately by someone I love very much. I have tried to express the pain they are causing me over time but they are not expressing any desire to better themselves or return effort. I can’t wait around anymore.
This person seems to strive on making me miserable because they themselves are miserable and I can’t take it anymore. But, I am going to choose a whole different path than the old me would have.
In the past, I would’ve bundled up in bed, cried, locked myself away… For DAYS. Not this time around.
I have started a project that is very important to me (that I will announce upon completion) and NOBODY will stop me. They don’t like it, that’s none of my business. Their notions of my work, or what they think is a lack of work, is none of their business. I will complete it and when I do, I will know, for myself, how wrong they were.
I can’t keep sulking. I am going to power through my depression, my trichotillomania, my BPD, my anxiety and my self harm/suicidal thoughts to get to where I want to be. I will pour my heart into this. I will not let myself lose track of my work and I will create.
Every day will be a challenge, but I am will not give in. This is MY life and it’s high time I take it back.