I had no choice but to move.
I had a good job, was attending regular therapy and had a group of writer friends I met up with twice a month. It didn’t matter how many good things I had going on because, I couldn’t live at home anymore.
The atmosphere, the environment, my family… None of it was healthy, and I couldn’t go forward with those types of barriers. And thus, I had to make the decision for my safety and mental health. I packed my belongings and made my way to the city.
It’s only been a few days and I can already feel myself thrive off this independency and the people I am living with. I feel more understood, I am receiving more respect and feel an equality in the home.
My room is set up with my pet rabbit, fairy lights, a media centre for leisure, collectibles on a shelf and a beautifully coloured mint wall that makes everything feel fresh and safe.
I’ve been able to be productive without that heavy weight of depression sitting on my shoulders. I can walk, remember things, feel motivation and have that want to be productive.
Things feel like they’re finally coming into place.
Though, I must remind myself that nothing will ever be perfect. There will be bumps in the road, and I would be letting myself down if I expected things to be perfect.
My goals include:
- Keeping things under control, including emotions and reactions
- Making daily schedules
- Putting out consistent blog posts
- Getting involved in social groups and fighting my social anxiety
- Continuously evolving as a person
This move is a positive change, as hard as it was to make it here and as hard as it will be to get used to.
I never want to be homeless or dependent on my mother again.