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The 8 Wonders of Pro Anorexia Websites

sloth speed recovery, proana, pro anorexia, eating disorder, thin commandments, proana websites,

Pro Anorexia (Pro Ana) is a secret society of individuals who condone anorexia. They may not condone it for other individuals, but ultimately, they are encouraging, worsening or potentially starting eating disorders for themselves and millions of women and men around the world. They support and follow “Ana” rules and tips on a regular basis in a strive for the thinnest, most frail body to feed their mental illnesses and eating disorders.

They will sacrifice their well being, the rest of their confidence and their body to be thin, to be what they deem beautiful. Body parts with pertruding bones and concave skin are worshiped and glorified, and are what every woman should strive for, according to these websites. Without being thin, beauty is far beyond your grasps. Not to mention, it encourages community, friendships, self-discipline and beauty, and working hard to achieve that standard.

So, how can Pro Ana websites really be all that bad

 


1. Being thin is a gateway to a lifelong friendship with Ana!

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Those who turn to Pro Ana websites are often those with a plummeting self-esteem, in search of a solution. They may initially be hit with the thought that thin = beautiful, and achieving beauty is a few pounds away! They are turning to Pro Ana to resolve self-consciousness and seek validation of themselves, within themselves.

Someone in the early stages of their eating disorder or progressing within it may be flung full force into this community and the support around them. Mentally ill individuals are supporting each other to act out unhealthy behaviours, without the interruption of conscious decision for future benefit. In these acts, they may find themselves feeling euphoric and will pursue the behaviours until they can no longer reverse the effects.

In summary, exposure to the images, quotes and support of the community, one, especially adolescent, may find a home for themselves where they feel they can express, destroy and cope with themselves. They may be determining the beginning of a lifelong eating disorder!

2. You will be living in a fairy tale of beauty!

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In the evolution of this disorder, you may find yourself losing touch with reality. Suddenly, you are aware of more “flaws” within yourself that weren’t apparent before, and aren’t exactly realistically accurate.

Those actions that were once choice no longer are choice, they become habitual or ritual in your life, without the ability to cease them. In the process, you may find yourself wanting to stop, with no avail. Conscious decision is no longer within your hands, and you have Pro Ana communities to thank for your slow walk on death row.

The consistent restriction of nutrition will starve you of the abilities of your brain, causing great difficulty in everyday tasks, and seeing things for what they really are. Reality will no longer be in your grasps.

3. The tips, tricks, advice and exercises are very successful!

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The websites and communities promote tips to lose extra weight and get through fasts in succession, all while reducing hunger tendencies. Many of these tidbits are successful and trick the human body into refusing food, worsening the eating disorder and spiral the obsession with food, weight and control. The continuous practice of these behaviours inevitably lead to all the awful physical symptoms of eating disorders, and the last one, which is death.

4. YOUR life is YOUR business! Privacy above all else!

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A good portion of advice offered within communities are ways to conceal behaviours and preserve the on going nature of the eating disorder. It offers in house tricks to convince loved ones that you are eating food and keeping it down, even if you aren’t. It ruins relationships, trust and will rob you of your life. It distances the ones who care, and alters their mind into believing that you are well, ceasing them from providing you help out of your self-destructive hell.

5. A community will stand by you to lose that extra flab! You will never be alone!

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A flow of constant individuals supporting your weight loss will cloud the negative nature of your eating disorder. The positive reinforcement that is continuous convinces your mind that this is okay, that this is natural, healthy and an intelligent decision. You will be assured by the dozens that you will be happy when you are skinny, but you won’t. Everyone involved in Pro Ana or who has an eating disorder is mentally ill and their perceptions are skewed because of it. Their support and comments are a reflection of their own spiral and loss of control.

But at the end of the day, you will always feel alone with yourself, your laptop, and your spiraling sickness.

6. There are many benefits of extreme weight loss!

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Beauty is pain, right? That is true in the case of anorexia and bulimia. You will be so happy you lost those five extra pounds when you stare yourself back in the mirror, witnessing the clumps of hair falling from your scalp, and transferring as peach fuzz on your otherwise smooth skin. Your teeth will yellow, weaken and rot with the various attempts of rising food from your stomach up into the toilet bowl. You will constantly feel weak, tired and faint on a daily basis, becoming deficient and anemic. You will grow anxious in the confines of your bedroom, begging to leave but also to remain enclosed. Unhappiness and depression will become your closest friend, as you push away any human being that tries to get close. Your friends will insist you leave the house, but you know that safety is within those walls, and that the world only offers fat, your biggest fear. And when you finally choose to recover, eating will be the hardest decision you will have ever made.

In those moments, you will not be grateful for the hell you went through.

7. Comparing yourself to others is a good pastime! 

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The constant bombardment of images of overly thin women from your Pro Ana peers will convince you to compare yourself to any woman who walks by you. The thinner women will be the death of you, and you will perceive thicker women as thinner than you. You will find aesthetic “beauty” in passerbys, measuring yourself up to size, trying to conclude how many more pounds are in your vicinity to lose.

If being out and about isn’t enough, try having the community sharing their inner torment and self-destruction with you constantly. The images will become pornographic to you, bringing you euphoria aside of great shame. Suddenly, each individual struggling with an eating disorder is nothing but a number. Goal weight after goal weight, up to an ultimate goal weight, decorated by the digits that define their height, age and body mass index. Your peers will post images of their dying, decaying bodies, and you will ogle them, defining which aspects are your favourite. You may even advise them to lose more!

8. Being thin and not eating are signs of true willpower and success! You can never be too thin!

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With extreme dieting and overuse of these abundant behaviours will lead to death. Being thin and “beautiful” will be the only thing you lived for, and it will have not been a good life. Death will be ugly, painful and agonizing, and as much as you will wish to the heavens for it to cease, you have been taken control of. You are no longer at the steering wheel, and this car is going full force into a fiery crash!

An eating disorder is a constant battle, day in and day out, with ourselves and our bodies, which we cannot escape. It is life or death, and may not seem worth fighting, but it truly is. At the end of an eating disorder is recovery, happiness, well being and a HELL OF A LOT of good food! You may have spent hours, days or years surfing these websites, trying to find where you fit in the world, when none of that was necessary. You were physically fine, healthy and most likely happy!

But now, as hard as it is, it’s time for recovery. It’s time to delete the heaps of images saved on your phone or on your laptop, delete your search history, delete Pro Ana songs, and kill what’s been eating you!


If you or anyone you know is consulting pro ana blogs or websites, please seek help from a professional or call a help line. Recovery is possible.

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Dear Trichsters: HAIR WON’T MAKE YOU HAPPY!

Humans are creatures of the overplayed concept of “I want what I don’t have”. It repeats in our brains like broken records. We want money, stability, healthy relationships, material possessions and great jobs… But sadly, not everything we want can be ours, nor will it make us happy.

Those who suffer from trichotillomania, the compulsion to pull out one’s hair, who have lost significant amounts of hair may think that the solution to their problem would be a full head (or body parts) of hair, which is false.

hair, trich trichotillomania www.slothspeedrecovery.wordpress.com sloth speed recovery

In my experience, I began pulling the hair from my scalp in early 2014, and with such a large bald spot, I was forced to chop off most and shave half of my hair. I reminisced on my long locks and all the fun ways I used to style it, and desired that feminine definition again. I tried to stop my pulling, reducing it great amounts to which it what practically unnoticeable. I grew my short pixie cut over 2 and a half years. I had hair down to my breasts. It was long, healthy and beautiful. I finally felt like a woman again.

I had the hair I had long awaited, but I wasn’t satisfied.I wasn’t any better, or any more “cured”. I was still little ol’ me with a hair pulling disorder, who still wanted more and more hair. My hair still wasn’t good enough by my standards, and I soon understood that that wasn’t the cure to my unhappiness.

I have come to realize, and so should many, if not all “trichsters”, that hair will not make us happy. We want the hair because we lack it, but believe me, hair has its down sides. We have lost something that so easily defined us, and it was practically out of our control. We want hair to avoid isolation and to feel validated, and because we have been robbed.

It’s great to have a goal to work to, and to try to curb the behaviour, but it is important to note that no amount of hair will make us happy. We may be more confident, style it in various ways and flaunt it, but it will not be our solution.

What will make us happy is trying to control the trich, working on our self-confidence and accepting our disorder for what it is. We will fight for the rest of our lives but our happiness will not be dependent on the strands of dead cells that hang from our scalps, no matter how much we crave it. Our hair does not define our happiness.

 

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9 Things You Need to Understand About Borderline Personality Disorder

9 things you need to understand about borderline personality disorder bpd www.slothspeedrecovery.wordpress.com sloth speed recovery

It is necessary to state that not all diagnosed BPD patients are the same. Most statements will resonate with the majority of diagnosed individuals, but not all. Every experience differs, and all of our pasts and paths are diverse. These are very common and basic statements about the disorder.

What is Borderline Personality Disorder?

Borderline Personality Disorder, otherwise known as BPD, is a serious mental illness characterized by the inability to regulate emotions. Some common traits or symptoms borderline-personality-disorderinclude:

  • Fear of abandonment
  • Unstable interpersonal relationships (with idealization and devaluation)
  • Identity disturbance and low perception of self-worth
  • Impulsive behaviours (risky sex, drugs, overspending, etc)
  • Self harm and suicidal tendencies
  • Reactive and difficulty controlling emotions, especially anger
  • Emptiness
  • Paranoia and disassociation

Borderline Personality Disorder has acquired plenty of negative connotations over the years, with some mental health professionals reluctant to treat it based on the intensity of the patient’s threats, reactions and, sometimes, lack of desire to get better. Some people who have associated with individuals diagnosed with BPD may not understand and, within discussions regarding the topic, furthering the stigma.

As diagnosed BPD individuals, we are not perceived positively. People tend to avoid us because of our intense emotions and emotional episodes. As much as we may try to explain ourselves, we are often misunderstood  or not taken seriously. We may desperately try to express our distress to you, without knowing how to go about it. Some of us don’t quite understand our disorder yet and may not know that our explosive or sensitive reactions are distinguished in this disorder, thus having no capabilities to explain ourselves to you.

Explaining our behaviours by stating we have Borderline Personality Disorder is an explanation, not an excuse.


I Hate You, Don’t Leave Me

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We find it very complicated to be in a stable relationship, seeing as our life patterns demonstrate someone loving us, remaining for a while and then abandoning us. We push and shove in response to our overwhelming emotions, trying to abandon you before you are able to abandon us. We constantly fear being left by the ones we love and we find it more beneficial to our emotional stability if we do it first. We convince ourselves that the blame cannot be put on us, even though we recall our behaviour later on and blame ourselves for causing you to leave.

We cannot live with you or without you, and it is a constant battle in our minds. We try to deduct whether it’s more beneficial to have you in our lives or not. At times, we think we have our mind made up, until we realize we want the opposite minutes later.

Think of the old concept introduced to kindergartners; “boys bully you because they like you.” (Extremely sexist, but wait for it.) BPD can sometimes make us act like those little boys. We do not have the means to express our affection to you, nor do we comprehend it, thus we violently lash out. We get the most violent with the ones we love and appreciate the most. It’s awful to say, but if we are treating you like this, we probably love you very, very much. We blame you for the potency of our emotions, and being loved is out ultimate fear. In response, subconsciously, we will cuss and push you away until you leave.

 

 

Emotional Instability, Intensities and Outbursts

A main symptom of the disorder is emotional instability and mood swings. As much as we may try to control our emotions, they always seem just past arms’ length. We go from ecstatic to depressed in moments, and it can leave us utterly exhausted. We struggle with the maintenance of any particular long term emotion; contentment can last a few hours and it can be followed by exaggerated anger.

In response to the ferocious mental storm, we violently react with outbursts and painful statements. We can become physically abusive as well as emotional and mental, trying to spike you with similar pain that we feel. Our outbursts can be brief or elongated, lasting up to a few hours. The extreme emotional implications can even lead us to self harm or a suicide attempt.

 

Sensitivity and Overreacting

It is no secret that we are on the more sensitive side of the spectrum of people. A comment you make that someone else could  disregard or be caught off guard can drive us into a frenzy. Our sensitivity is heightened along with our emotions and, though what we are hurt by may seem silly to you, it is very real and traumatizing to us. There are events and situations that we will not forget because of their extreme sensitivity content and the overload we felt.

An empty comment can be spun out of context with our skewed perception of reality, assuming you’ve observed a trait in us you don’t like, or we aren’t attractive enough, etc. and even if what we heard is not what you had said or what you intended, we create our own reality to make it true.

In retort, we may lash out or bawl, taking an extreme stance, and though it may seem like overreacting, it is valid to us and comprehensible. We felt so hurt by something and our only ability to cope is to lose it in one way or another.You may perceive it as unnecessary but it is our process for coping and we require love and support. In these times, we are in need of an apology and comfort from you.

 

Boredom and Emptiness

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Borderline is often unstable, with periods of highs and lows, and some switching quickly between the two. It keeps us very busy, I’m sure you can imagine. We are so encompassed in this constant whirlwind that, when it calms down, suddenly we are hit with boredom.

Boredom often gets misinterpreted in our minds as depression or sadness, and can evidently lead to self harm and suicidal behaviours. The stillness leads our thoughts in a negative direction, and the self-deprecating notions become repeated in our minds, woven one over the other. (“You’re useless.”, “You’re lazy”, “You never stop wasting your time.”) When nothing is going on and we are chaos free, we are unsure as to what we should do with ourselves, and we can sense a great deal of emptiness and dissatisfaction. Without being kept busy with a hobby, we misinterpret the boredom and the intensity escalates until we lose control and have an episode. We want to have that time and those feelings filled with activities that work our minds and keep our thought process busy. Without occupying the thought process, we can quickly become consumed by our own self hatred and low self esteem.

 

Relationship Struggles

The inability to maintain a stable relationship is very common. These relationships can be family oriented, friendships and romantic or sexual relationships.

A thing to remember is the sensitivities and intensities felt by an individual diagnosed with BPD; any comment made gets held to heart, whether it’s kind or mean. Your opinion is held at high standard and can make or break the individual’s day/week/month/year.

Being in a relationship, we often assume we will be left, being a common pattern we have been exposed to. We assume it is a life pattern that will always follow us, and instead of riding the waves, small or large with you, we subconsciously push you away and leave you before you can leave us. In our mind, it is a way to break the pattern; “you can’t leave me if I’ve already left you”. Any stillness in the relationship is perceived as boring and can somehow be misinterpreted by you not meeting our needs or not understanding us, or even not loving us enough. We have not been exposed to much relax and thus, do not have much experience with coping with it, but we do know chaos and roller coasters. In our inability to cope, we will take you for that ride down the slope.

We desperately want to have a happy relationship but we are not always in control, and to be loved. We face episodes where our mouthes and emotions completely disconnect from our morality and usual conversations. We do not want to hurt you, but we are terrified of being loved. It’s a foreign concept in our minds. We try to keep ourselves together but we loosen at the seams and become explosive. And at times, in our angry episodes, we want you angry too, because then we aren’t alone and you, too, are taking the roller coaster ride with us.

Despite the chaos and rides we will take you on, and as silly as it may sound, we do it because we love you.

 

Skewed Perception of Reality

Though reality is altered from one person to the next, most people are still living within the facts or slight exaggeration of them. With BPD, our reality is concentrated on emotions and fears. For example, if we are scared you will abandon us, we will act as if it is current and live in that chaos. Or, let’s say we feel ugly, we may assume that our loved ones believe it and torment ourselves to not feel this way. And if our fears aren’t real enough, we create them and make them reality.

Our perception of reality is often skewed and can confuse our surroundings. Though we may not be psychotics, we may have delusions and paranoia. They may not be the commonly known heard voices as seen in schizophrenics and patients with psychosis, but they alter our sense of reality and fog the facts.

Our assumptions can go from being just that and escalate to being “reality” as we associate clues and events to our prejudged conclusion. All of our clues, though inaccurate or unrelated, soon become the full reason or description for a situation.

A misheard sentence from your mouth can make us frantic; you may claim you said one thing but we heard another, and it wasn’t a good thing. Suddenly, we believe it; we have proof and evidence that it is all true and you meant what we thought we heard.

 

Identity Crises

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We lose touch with who we are in the process of understanding our disorder, mental illness and wanting to be someone entirely different. We may label ourselves as BEING the disorder or change from one type of person to the next. We act like chameleons and study our peers to be accepted and wanted by them. We perceive fitting in as a sense of validation and self worth. Some individuals will be entirely different when they are at home, compared to work, compared to with a romantic partner. We study and dictate what we want to put on show for specific people, trying to find a way to integrate and not be left.

We discern our being as unlovable, dictated by the demonstrations in our past, and we cannot imagine anybody loving us for our true selves, not to mention the chaos that is this disorder. We will hide behind as many masks and in as many costumes so that you may not break that barrier and unleash us out of our comfort zone. We would prefer putting our best traits on display.

 

Self Harm, Suicide and Threats

A common lead to diagnosis is self harm and suicidal tendencies. Many adolescents get diagnosed before they are deemed able to be diagnosed because of this, mixed with unstable teenage emotions that worsen in stages of puberty.

Self harm is our expression of the overwhelming emotions that overtake our bodies and minds. It is our way of physically creating our pain; painting it out, if you will. Self mutilation is not just the act of cutting, it also includes:

  • Burning
  • Starvation/Bingeing/Purging (Disordered Eating behaviours)
  • Scratching
  • Suicide attempts
  • Overdoses
  • Illegal and recreational drugs
  • Alcohol
  • Trichotillomania/Dermatillomania (and other Body-Focused Repetitive Behaviours)
  • Etc.

Some of us do it to feel alive, others for control, on impulse, or to scare. (Whether a person is doing it to scare or for any other reason, it is still valid and still dictates a problem, just a different type of problem. In the end, it is still self mutilation, which is unleashing physical pain onto ourselves to cope with emotions.)

It is important to not judge the individual for this expression. It is a maladpative coping strategy and eventually grows to be addictive, as the acts release endorphins, tricking our brains. For the time being, it does work. It isn’t healthy, nor is it worth it, but the individual may have not come to that realization yet. Without desire to recover, it is still recognized as functional by the one self mutilating. Prying and trying to stop the behaviour can worsen the outcome, leading them into intense emotions where they feel they may have to do it again to find release.

Trying to be understanding and supportive, offering positive coping strategies,  hobbiesroutine and helping to create a coping kit with them can guide them on the right path. It will take a lot of time, but the diagnosed BPD patient must eventually learn to self regulate and should be granted years for this process.

Though we may not be trying to kill ourselves by using these negative coping strategies, they can have negative repercussions. The beahviours can become quite severe and may require medical attention, which is important to seek out when needed. The emotions we feel can escalate drastically, requiring us to get stitches or getting our stomach’s pumped, and should be supervised. It is important to ensure all wounds are kept clean and are covered to avoid STDs and other blood transmitted diseases.

Suicide attempts and threats should be taken very seriously, but it is very crucial to note that mental health professionals prefer to avoid hospitalizations for us and so, we can be left on our own. Many of us do not properly use hospital stays properly, often getting involved in other people’s problems or becoming aggressive with staff, feeling the assistance is unhelpful, and disrupting other people’s stays. It is a very sad truth, and we may be turned away when requesting to be hospitalized for these reasons. (It is also very important to recognize that being turned away can spiral emotions downwards, and skewing their perception of reality. They may think “Well, if they don’t think I’m suicidal enough, I’ll prove it.”, and this can be a very dangerous thought process. Ultimately, it is preferred to avoid trying to get hospitalized, which will lessen the trauma.)

The threats can be made to express great deal of distress and serious desire to take one’s life, and it can also be to scare and receive sympathy from loved ones and medical attention. The emotions are intense, and we may threat when they have escalated passed our capacity of withholding them. To us, it is very real. We truly believe we are ready to take our own lives, and though it may be a threat and we may not fully act upon it, our feelings are serious and can lead to the act if overwhelmed.

They will need extra support and will require professional attention from a counselor or therapist who is knowledgeable in  Borderline. Offer support, do not fall into stigma and try to be understanding of the chaos.

 

It is a Disorder but we are NOT Hopeless

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Though this is a long lasting disorder, we CAN recover. The recovery path consists of self regulation and understanding. We must practice mindfulness and positive coping strategies to keep ourselves in line. We are not entirely in control of the behaviours; they are just learned patterns. The treatment of Dialectical Behavioral Therapy will offer us the tools to acquire that content and stable life.

A popular choice for those who cannot afford, nor find a professional or service that specializes in DBT can look into the Out of Control; DBT CBT Workbook, which offers diagrams, activities and simple explanations to many, if not all, common Borderline Personality Disorder behaviours. The tools must be continuously practiced, or relapse is inevitable to occur.

Many will give up on us, but I can assure you that if you stick around to watch us get better, you will not regret it. One day, we will know peace, stability and even happiness, as long as we work hard at it.

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Burn Out

burn out, sloth speed recovery. bpd, corderline personality disorder www.slothspeedrecovery.wordpress.com

Those familiar with Borderline Personality Disorder will know this term all too well. It’s one of the largest fears we have, to be abandoned, but an occurrence most of us have become most acquainted with. It’s like a waiting game; when will we be left finally? When will they be sick of us, just like the rest? We are constantly on egg shells with the ones we love but we can’t seem to get off of them. Any interaction has an attribute that feels like another crack, breaking these shells into smaller pieces, until they evidently become dust that blows away in the wind.

The burn out is the state in which, someone is becoming overly exhausted by the behaviours and their surroundings that their functionality is decreasing and they are no longer capable to keep it together. Burn out to someone suffering with BPD is the threat to be abandoned. To hear those words out of the mouth of someone we want to keep with us is terrifying and it feels as though the world is coming to an end. Everything is crashing and soon, the only thing we had will come to an end.


I’m  burnt out; Advice for loved ones

We can only imagine how hard it is for you to watch us suffer in this way, and we understand that you try to keep it together for us and our mental illnesses, but we are imploding. Our biggest fear would be losing you and we never want you to burn out. We comprehend the complications we cause and how our experience with excruciating pain could bring you down, not to mention, being involved with us gives you an unwanted helping.

We desperately want to keep it together and keep the relationship healthy but it’s not a simple switch we can turn on or off. I can’t speak for all people diagnosed with BPD, but personally, I can climb from 0 to 100 and back down to 0 in seconds, and as much as it is hell for a partner or family member or friend, it’s a million times worse for us suffering from it. We act mean and create chaos, trying to cease it to no avail. My brain is a storm, a cesspool of destructive thoughts and corruptive behaviours. I feel so absorbed with the emotions I feel, though positive, they quickly transfer to negative when I am even slightly let down. I so desperately want someone to stay, but do not know how to keep them. I intensely sense myself being destroyed with this constant desire to not be left, to be loved and to be understood.

A “burnout” is inevitable at some point when we lose sight of recovery or maintenance, but we beg dearly that you do not leave. We have burnt out long ago in this disorder, but we are still alive and fighting daily. We have entrusted you with the most horrible parts of ourselves and are desperate for you to stay.

We will try as hard as we can, but we ask that our counterparts try their hardest to remain by our sides, as long as it is abuse free, and understand us. We are quite complicated with very distinct behaviours and reactions, but your support is required. We love those close to us very deeply and despite us being aggressive to them, we need them to stay and to love us.

Express to us your feelings of burning out, of exhaustion, but try to stay, and remember to tell us you want to stay. Attempt to remain strong and survive the hardships to one day settle into our stability. Understand that this is not always our choice and our emotions can control us entirely. Comprehend our efforts and work as hard as possible to remain by our side.Communicate with us; tell us how we can benefit you despite our chaos, and let us tell you how we feel and how you can help.


I’m burning them out!; Advice for the diagnosed BPD

Hearing those words can be an awful experience but, we must remember that a burn out is caused through love. Someone is trying their ultimate best to remain at our side but is feeling the negative aftermath of our behaviours and intense emotions, and they love us dearly. If you ever doubt they don’t, ask yourself what could be another reason for them having stayed through our highs, lows, anger and trauma but love. They desperately want to be by us, and they want us better but it is true that it an get to anyone. It’s agony for us and a helping to an outsider can seem just as overwhelming, despite them not be burdened with it as their own disorder.

They voice this to exclaim the jeopardy to their mental health, not as a threat of abandonment or act of hatred. They have taken note of their mental health issues and are sharing it with us, and we must try to respect that. Everyone’s mental health and well being is valid, even those who burn out from our BPD, and we must respect space and their need to be healthy, as hard as a temporary separation can be.

To find our own way to manage and depend on ourselves is crucial to remaining in control and being able to keep relationships going. It is exhausting to do, and it is painful to realize that we are (our behaviours are) the “cause” of someone’s lack of desire to be with us. The only way to keep two parties mentally well with one ill with BPD is for the one diagnosed with BPD to find some form of self-control and life satisfaction apart from the relationship.

Try picking up a hobby and practicing it when you start feeling down, practice daily self-care and maintenance, put together a coping kit or purchase the Out Of Control DBT CBT Workbook which will provide ways to assist yourself with BPD. With these strategies, you will become more able to understand and control yourself, and eventually find peace, even if it’s for a short period of time.


A burnout is not the end for anyone. It could be the beginning to understanding the parties involved, what they are seeking and ways to work on a relationship together. It does not have to be the ending and we should not treat it as such.

 

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Unofficial Support Systems

unofficial support systems so you're on the waiting list. crumbled paper. slothspeedrecovery

A support system is highly required in our recovery, when we are struggling, to help us feel less alone and have people we can be open with. We cannot carry all of our pain constantly without relief, but what if we don’t have the funds to get a therapist or we’re on a waiting list? We must build ourselves a support system in the mean time to keep things under control.

Before establishing ourselves with a system, we must first analyse what our problems are and how we interact with people. Personally, I have borderline personality disorder being my biggest struggle; I am overly emotional and can find struggles in everyday chores and activities, from showering to interacting with people. When I have found someone I trust in the past, I have relied on them intensely, which raised anxieties for both parties and evidently built a distance, not helping with a common BPD problem of abandonment issues. Thus, I am aware that relying on friends and close parties should not be a main part of my support system, and learning to deal with everyday struggles ON MY OWN is a requirement. Common everyday things shouldn’t be as hard to handle as I make them.

Once you’ve hashed this out, knowing what is best for you, though possibly uncomfortable, you can deem which forms of support are best for you.

Following will be different forms of support systems, their descriptions, their pros and cons.

 

Hotlines. Hotlines are a phone number, often toll free, which you can call to talk with a worker who will try to guide and assist you, sometimes offering resources in your area. They are often suggested by various forms of social workers and therapists when they cannot offer constant assistance and believe you need extra support, especially in crisis mode. They will request general information of you, such as your age, (possibly) gender, and current situation. Phone calls can be brief or intensive and the help they offer varies. Hotlines are highly recommended and are a great option, though sometimes, workers do not handle intense emotions properly.

Pros:

  • It is one of the quickest ways to receive assistance, especially in a crisis situation.
  • Majority of experiences are positive, helping the individual feel a better after the phone call.
  • They can provide resources around your area to better assist you for after care.
  • Since they are toll free, you do not require a functioning cell phone and can reach them with a pay phone or even an app when connected to the internet for the call.
  • It is a private experience where they are not allowed to share your information (unless you threaten harm to yourself or someone else)

Cons:

  • Some hotlines have a brief waiting period which can be a few seconds or several minutes, and in a crisis situation, this could be too much waiting time.
  • You will not be able to guarantee who you will be connecting to, and it is improbable you will connect with a worker you’ve talked to in the past. It is not a long term option.
  • If your situation is based on past events, you will be asked to explain it all or they may not understand your situation.
  • Some workers do not deal well with anger.
  • There will always be good and bad experiences.

 

Drop in therapists. Drop in therapists are skilled workers who can offer assistance when needed and are qualified to do so. They can be a temporary support and be someone able to listen to you and be of help.

Pros:

  • No waiting lists.
  • They can be an outsider to your situation, better able to view the situation without an emotional opinion.
  • There are plenty available (in North America).
  • It can be an easy option when in a slight crisis and in need of immediate support.

Cons:

  • They may ask a fee, though can be specified to your situation.
  • The line up may be long prior to you and could be a few hours of waiting time.
  • They will be lacking a profile of your history and may be offering very generalized help which may not be entirely helpful to your personal situation.
  • If you struggle with trust, you may find yourself able to open up.

 

Group therapy. Group therapy settings vary; some could be just chatting and others very structured and based on specific techniques. This form of support could be very beneficial in building friendships and trust relationships with others going through similar things, where you can depend on one another and be each other’s helpers, with assistance of a third party or professional. It would be an ideal environment to have structure and have the capability to share and open up, whilst learning coping mechanisms that could truly help.

Pros:

  • Other’s going through similar things in which you could relate to.
  • Often accompanied with a professional guiding the group and offering helpful coping techniques.
  • Getting out of the house and having your own activity you participate in.

Cons:

  • Could be deemed too public for some individuals who are more reserved and would prefer a private therapist.
  • Waiting lists and could be hard to get transportation to (including parking).

 

Family and friends. Having family and friends to depend on could be lovely; they are comprehensive of a good portion of your history and understand your needs in intricate situations. They may be more capable of deeming what would work and what wouldn’t for you, taking your emotions  and mental health into consideration.

Pros:

  • They are comprehensive to your personal needs.
  • True supportive friends and family members will do their best not to judge and try to be there for you as much as possible.
  • Most family and friends want to be of assistance to you.

Cons:

  • Getting too personal and dependent could jeopardize the relationship.
  • They are not able of providing professional advice.
  • Privacy is not guaranteed.

 

7 Cups of Tea. 7 Cups of Tea is a website where you can connect with “listeners” who are trained with a listener program to speak with you and offer assistance. They can be rated and will have a profile which you can view for more information on their capabilities to help you specifically. Though the traditional form of help on the website, you also have access to group chats, quizzes and courses you can take, all in pursuit of higher rankings and goals.

Pros:

  • Forms of a community.
  • Interactive with goals to achieve.
  • Listeners are everyday people with a specific training to be listeners on the website.
  • You can connect with a listener and reconnect with them at a later date if they were of help.
  • There are constant updates as they try to better the site, often requesting for your input.

Cons:

  • Some listeners are not as qualified or understanding of how to communicate in crisis situations.
  • Waiting time can go from a few minutes to several dozens, depending on the volume of listeners online.
  • I found it hard to get involved with the amount of available things to do and disinterest in tutorials.

 

Online Communities. Online communities can be formed from anywhere, be that Tumblr, Instagram, blogs and forums. People around the world are offering assistance to one another, especially in respects to mental health and how to cope with specific disorders and conditions.

Pros:

  • Relatable people to talk with.
  • Friendships easily form from these types of communities.
  • Trigger points in many of these communities (such as the depression and self harm side of tumblr)

Cons:

  • Other people may also be looking for support and can hinder on your recovery.
  • Though friendships and support systems can be made, getting personal with specific individuals is highly unrecommended. People have their own things going on and drama can arise, causing more stress.

 

Journal. A journal can be your own escape where you can share your thoughts and feelings without outside judgment or opinions. You can write freely about any topic you want, it’s your own free space and it’s inexpensive.

Pros:

  • Judgement free zone.
  • Innexpensive.
  • Customizable.

Cons:

  • No outside opinion; no third party assistance.
  • No thought guidance or suggestions.

 

Yourself. This one won’t have separate pros and cons, but will be contained in a paragraph. Depending on yourself can be freeing and teach you to cope with life in new ways. It will be trial and error and times will be tough, but you will know that you have your own back and that, whatever happens, you will be able to carry your weight. As time goes on, you will experience your true potential and become understanding that you are capable and, things that were harder before, have become much easier. You will be in charge of your recovery, looking for resources and being your own therapist; ultimately, you are the person who is most understanding of yourself. You know your limits and will become aware of your pace. You will never leave yourself.

 

It is best implemented to have several methods you use; having options in various situations. Things will require trial and error; learning to understand what will work for you and what just worsens your condition. But, eventually, you will have a method that works specifically for you, and hopefully, will hep until you are contacted or are ready to contact a long term therapist.

 

 

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7 Everyday Tasks To Improve Your Mental Health

marge simpson taking a bath 7 everyday tasks to improve your mental health www.slothspeedrecovery.wordpress.com sloth speed recovery

When we suffer from mental illness, everyday tasks can just be forgotten or we do not find the energy or willpower to complete them. Sometimes, we may fool ourselves into thinking we can’t do it, but we can, and we should force ourselves to complete them. Little goals give us a sense of accomplishment and motivation, so why not set them?

Wake Up. It is important to wake up and get out of bed every single morning, no matter how we feel. Optimism for the day, even if we feel awful upon awakening, can turn our whole day around! To help productivity, set an early waking time as we are more productive in the morning hours. Get a good start to your day by offering this to yourself.

Breakfast. Whether you struggle from an eating disorder or not, eating can seem like a mundane task or a struggle. We are worthy of a healthy and hearty breakfast. Start your day of with juicy fruits such as watermelon, berries and mangoes; these fruits will help hydrate you and make you feel great. Have some bananas on the side as well.

If you have a hard time eating foods, it could be beneficial to have a smoothie instead. Use water to liquefy it. Make sure you drink it all!

It is key to note that eggs and bacon won’t be beneficial to you as they are mainly fats and oils, which will drag you down and cause sluggishness during the day, so choose wisely!

Hygiene. Maintaining hygiene can improve your view on life and yourself. Take showers in the morning for a good ol’ wake up call; bringing you to an alert and focused state. Brush your teeth, floss, brush your hair… Anything to help your hygiene and your overall health. You’ll thank yourself later!

Get Dressed. Put on some nice, clean clothes that you feel confident it. Your outfit can boost your self-esteem throughout the day and cause you to seem more approachable. Make sure to wear that pretty/handsome smile!

Clean. Give yourself 15 minutes during the day to tidy up your living space. You will be able to maintain a clean home and give yourself a sense of accomplishment. Sometimes, when our home is dirty, we become more depressed and we may feel our life is a mess, too. Give yourself this time to make Your space more comfortable. And, don’t forget to do your dishes every single day!

Exercise. Put time aside to get your body moving. A simple walk will do, but going for a bike ride, a run or to the gym could help even more. Do whatever makes you feel will work, but work out of your comfort zone to push yourself and accomplish more every day.

Write About Progress. You should be documenting your progress daily so you may eventually observe self-progression. Give yourself check boxes to fill out weekly (or monthly/yearly) and identify your emotions that day. You could journal about them or just have a page on your fridge.

Each day is a new day you can use to better yourself and accomplish different things. You are worthy of the benefits all of these will bring. So, get out there and make little goals!

 

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A New Day

a new day sloth speed recovery www.slothspeedrecovery.wordpress.com open field

The feeling of being enveloped in our bed in fear seems all too familiar when we weren’t committed to a recovery lifestyle. Our blinds shut, our blankets over our heads and our tears pouring out of the gates that held them. We did not want to face the day; our fears of our anxiety intertwining into a crippling loss of our own precious lives. Days were wasted away in toxic melancholy we wanted to abandon, but could not even consider departing. But guess what… It’s a new day.

Today is a day of recovery. We have disregarded the concept of being curled up in a croissant of sheets and have made the decision to move on. We will accomplish wondrous things with the hours ahead of us. We will no longer lose ourselves in a midst of pain and waste. We will no longer feel compelled to harm our beautiful bodies. We have chosen life and the quality of our life. We want to see better days and create memories, but to do this, we must construct finer times. We will put so much effort into ourselves, because we are worth it and are entirely deserving.

Today, I wake up strong. I choose to nourish my own life and develop myself further into the person I hope I can become one day. I will dress myself well and eat at least one  hearty meal. With a smile on my face, I will leave my own home into the streets and to my destination. I am allowed to love my body, my flaws and my imperfections. On this day, every selection will benefit my recovery. I will remind myself of how amazing I am, how far I’ve come and that I’m not stopping there. Oh no! I’m running the mile and winning in first place. This is my race and my success. I will acknowledge the beauty that surrounds me and become a part of it. I will create with the depth of my heart and the complex aspects of my brain. I will dance in the presence of starlight and embrace every star that fills my sky.

On this new day, I understand my value and my impact on this Earth. I am aware of the people that love me and what I mean to them. I sense contentment with the fact that my body has not left me and that I am mobile. I am thankful for the lessons I have learned, despite they were from the darkest of my experiences. I can comprehend that my past behaviours were influenced by emotions and that I will continue to make changes to progress. I do not desire to harm my body as it has been my best friend through my entire ordeal. I have a positive outlook on my existence and am glad I did not lose it when I had wanted to.

On this new day, I choose recovery and I will make it. Just you watch.